I always drive to his and he never makes an effort to go to me. Yet he continues to text me daily, send me daily updates on everything he is doing, etc. He goes out at night with his friends when his daughter is staying with him, but uses her presence as a reason not to spend time with me, yet he is happy to do Thanksgiving together. ? Im always the one organizing my life around his and making sure we see each other. Wow girl as Im reading this I cant believe I didnt write it lol. I so desperately want a date once in a while wether its once a month so we can enjoy each other and so i can feel like hes doing something special with me AND so i wont go crazy spending every moment in the HOUSE. He spoiled her before they had kids then stopped completely as the kids needed his resources. When I text, he ignores them for hours even when he is online in the meantime. Am I being needy too much? One thing that has been helping me is just leaving the room to give each other space. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 5 years. You will be happy, trust me. You wouldnt even have to be sad or feel bad for him, because the honest reality is that he didnt value all your efforts while you gave a damn. He is failing to realize that I am being affected too. But yeah, we talk more and sometimes I struggle to text back too since I work full time now! Do you feel loved? I hope you work things out- either way. On the other hand, maybe your boyfriends lack of effort means that he only calls you once a month or texts you once every two months. A lot of times my boyfriend has realised he did it on purpose to hurt and he regrets his words right after. Maybe hes coping with financial problems in his professional or personal life, or grieving the los of someone he loves. Its hard for me to let go and try when he is not trying enough and only notices the negative things. I finally had to let him go. For example, his car broke down in a town more then an hour away. Its just hard because he watches my son while Im at work and my sons dad is working out of town for a month on and a week off. Also expected to cook, clean, do the laundry, take care of our pet. I didnt hear from him till early Sunday morning when I drunk texted him. They just seems like some eords. Im starting to think he doesnt want to marry me. WebYes bare minimum but extra behaviors from a coworker. Which really confuses me. We dont even have a date on when we decided to be together. So any advice for me would be great! September came around. Thank You for sharing your story. I know thats not what you want to hear. And when we actually spent time together we always just went for a walk couple times a week or we met to have sex, we never did anything else. Texting in his way showed me just how little hed been giving me and Id been accepting it. Its long distance and he is 8 hours ahead of me. Some of your traits are similar to mine and some are similar to someone that I was dating at the time. He knew my day was not going well and that I have dinner ready for him every single night and just once, I ask him to just do it for me! Communicate with him without fighting. I have no friends no interest in men, I cant even stand it when strangers try to talk to me. However, I started to notice some changes in him, subtle ones. I tried discussing that with him, he told me if he was to mess up he would want someone to correct him. Oh, also he keeps poking my stomach and at first it was funny and cute but now its genuinely annoying and Im trying to tell him to stop but he doesnt take me seriously and just kind of turns it into a joke. I get Fridays and the weekend which I use to do an my studying, school work, exercise, self care, etc. He begrudgingly paid the initial payment of $600 but was pissed because he expected me to spend my winter break, the first break Ive had for myself since before my mom got diagnosed with cancer on 2020, working full time to save up the $1800 tuition. We have an 18 year age gap. I havent see each other for 2months which it is really upsetting. I have been with my boyfriend for over 7 months now. Things you never even thought of knowing. he felt i shifted too much of my attention to work and the kids and not enough to him. It just makes me feel so not good enough for him. You have to be more understanding. I met my boyfriend this summer (July) through my bestfriend and I met him through snap (he was 18 and he doesnt go to school and I am a junior in highschool. The first year was good, with what I call sparks! He is very sporadic with hugs and holding hands. When I got back to our dorm that night I ft him and told him it felt right but It was also an accident. 2 years ago, something was off in our relationship and he wasnt making effort with me, almost at all. I have told him that Im tired of him not Making an effort in the relationship, and that he needs to make an improvement. He forgave me and I eventually moved back. And more likely, he wont change. I dont know what else to say about any of it, but I do know that Im getting more depressed by the day. He got a divorce just over two years ago and lately he has been having some family issues. because of this i have been resentful and he became more distant as a result of that. we havent dated for long (~3.5 months) so i could be overreacting, but at the same time, im tired of the lack of effort on his end. That is an abusive, toxic relationship and you deserve so much better! Please help me , I have the same situation weve been dating for a year and 3 months and its the exact same way idky doe . But I just dont have enough energy to even cry sometimes. I am not an emotionally stable person I take meds for anxiety and depression and have for years now. Not fair and a relationship is 2 waysSince you have a Son and a new job would NOT recommend that you move to him. And so on. We ended up living together briefly because he did not want to be apart from me. For example, do you expect your boyfriend to text you five times a day or call you first thing in the morning and last thing before you fall asleep? Our communication is pretty bad now. Like, if they arent happy anymore, why not tell us so we can move on? he would nvr go out of his way to do anything for me now and it makes me wonder why because what am i lacking? When I asked again the second time I had to remind him since money was tight for the both of us that I wasnt the kind of girl that needed some fancy, expensive date, that if I came home one day and he had a blanket later out in the backyard and some snacks or whatever out for us and we ended up just laying there looking up at the stars the whole time and talking that that alone would be a really good date in my eyes. He did call me every morning like he said for a week. One month later. Any facetimes we would do were 90% instigated by me. She told him to break up with me so he emailed me and said we needed to take a break until the situation gets better. His mother is mentally ill and they are recently estranged. He said its okay I dont judge you and Im sure no one does and if they do they can go fuck themselves! I have been with my boyfriend for one and a half years. Ive told him why I need contact to stay connected to each other n to feel secure n have fun. I say I never give advice, but this is one thing I want you to know: you have to build a life outside your relationship with your boyfriend. He is a nice guy as a whole but its the fact he went out of his way for me a handful of times that gave me a little hope in this sudden realization of my feelings but recently he has completely shut me out. Think about your dream guy, and you will find him. We both still live at home and even tho hes nearly 21, his parents still have some control over him, he doesnt talk back to them and theyre weird about him staying in my house and doing stuff with me (sometimes not all the time!) This became such an issue that, we fight basically every days I do everything to make his life easier. 88 years of expert advice and inspiration, for every couple. he just sits there and acts like he hasnt heart a word ive said. Then, this guy comes up to me and asks if I was new there. You want him to be different. He works a lot sometimes so I understand he is tired, but he always wants me to come over his house. Im confused by this guy I had been seeing before coronavirus lockdown. He said he is trying to change. I dont want to much. Dont turn a blind eye on things that are sign showing and you are not happy for them. Although weve talked about it many times and although I told him I wanted to go out once a month, he doesnt initiate. The key is to not give them the key to our happiness. I get it Im not a good gamer but I like the company. I think its not enough to say I dont feel like Im a priority. What did you end up doing ? You deserve so much more. He bought her a Mothers Day card. I told him I loved him and the only reason why I would ever leave him is if he cheated on me. at the same time, I am wondering why should i wait for him to initiate, why not agree that i pay half of the dinner since i am an independent woman who believes in equality. I dont quite think he is a narcissist, because he does have a heart and I have seen him show compassion; however he is very proud and self-absorbed. Thank you Sumiah, for your response and your concern. You won't drive him crazy, you'll push him away and for good. I would say he fell in love(infatuated?) After I voiced my frustration, he said hes been busy with trying to get a promotion at work and on his free time he spends it with his son. But again, ask if he wants to just get anything off of his chest about his father, and just let him talk. But I cant help but read it as a lack of interest, it makes me feel horrible on dates and sends me in a spiral of panic that he is bored of me. Not only that sexual favors have been one sided for a long time now. He has weak immune systems and get sick often so we do have days without communication.Im completely okay with not talking everyday. Please give me some advice pleaaaase. Sometimes I felt that he was mad at me, he would say that I was a show off or that I always took things too seriously. I feel so let down all the time when I really am not asking for much. My boyfriend had a terrible marriage and an even worse divorce. I recently had to end it with my bf of two years . He needs a chill pill and a real wake up call and renewed investment in life vs his career. He started withdrawing from me after I asked him 2-3 times to hang out and do things with me. I reslect to my culture. Now he wants us to not meet more than 2 times per week, even if none of us are working or studying full time at the moment. I pay d bills, I buy him stuffs give him money, I practically do everything in d relationship . He keeps doing this and now he is ignoring me again and idk whats going onhe was couch hopping but hes back at his sisters now and he wont answer my emails. I cant help but feel like he doesnt care as much about me as he used to, as we used to spend more time together before when I was more prioritized. Ive been upset ever since and its only been a week but Im feeling really low and I have bad anxiety in general but its been worse lately because of him. Also, Ive been having a lot of cheating dreams but Im assuming its because he doesnt make me feel secure in the relationship because of the change. Your email address will not be published. Not material things, but being romantic on special occasions. He said he was going to do it. We havent been fighting everyday. Start by letting go slowly. He Is Going Through Something he briefly mentioned his bad experience with exes, he had two years marriage and he said he felt it was too long. m tired n dont know what to do anymore! I do really love him even we just got together. hed text at 11-1am for me, but by then i would have fallen asleep. I had to call him! When you feel as though your partner isn't giving you the attention you deserve, it can be incredibly frustrating, confusing, and hurtful. I want him to want to make things better instead of just making decisions that arent beneficial to the relationship or are just downright harmful to the relationship. Its hard to let go, especially when all I want is to feel his warmth. He only tells me he loves me on text hardly to my face until I say it first. If you depend on him for your self-identity and self-image, then you have to learn how to be an emotionally strong woman in your relationships. So, whether you've only just noticed your partner giving you the proverbial cold shoulder or have undergone the iciness for weeks/months/years, now is the time to take a closer look at your relationship to establish the reason for the discontent and determine if the partnership is worth mending. After that I had to go home cause it was starting to get dark. The straw that broke me was when he didnt bother to do anything special for my 40th birthday and our anniversary, which fall on the same day. But the communication thing has really slowed down. HE ACTED LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED. It was amazing, we had so much fun. He betrayed his best friend, he betrayed the woman that has been loving him. I get it but at the same time if he wasnt ready to forgive me he didnt need to and should of taken his own time instead of us going through this. Hi Angela, Well Im no expert with relationships. MUCH LOVE!!! I knew something was wrong. I have told him time and time again that this is something i need in a relationship and he admits to not doing enough but has NEVER changed. I realized he got into gaming with a girl for a long time. I have met and gone out with his friends. He just replied by saying he didnt have any money. Just a text. It was great for a few months, but now the lock down is over (here in Europe) I feel like hes starting to make less effort again, prioritizing sports and friends again. second: (and here is the big thing!) I dont feel that he supports me in my decisions on things. It makes me feel like 1: he now feels a connection with this woman he does not with me and that is why he feels so contemptuous towards me all the time now 2: pissed off that he KNOWS it bothers me, is not able to understand why I feel that way and simply disregards my feelings maybe even doing it on purpose?? Any advice please? And its so confusing because we do get along on every other front like we laugh and have so much fun when we hangout and talk a couple times everyday, but I tell him I like small silly gifts every now and then, and just anything thats like hey this made me think of you but he still doesnt seem to get it. You deserve to be treated well and loved the way you want to be loved. About 2 weeks or so after, I voiced my concerns again about his lack of effort in making quality time. WebYes bare minimum but extra behaviors from a coworker. Oh my God this is so me. Im very worried and actually considering going to where he is and seeking answers. This guy is not going to do that for you. He has his mum doing everything for him. Why doesnt he show his love? We both have good jobs and have a beautiful life together. Here we are stuck in the same pattern, he is hot and heavy in our relationship one month, then goes cold out of nowhere. I dont understand why he wouldnt make you diner when you took out all the ingredients. I came across a guy who seemed familiar but had a different name. I told him 3 times that this has bothered me and he has made no effort to change this. Im right there with you though, I feel the same way about my bf of 2 years. I think the common thread here is, we are attaching ourselves to emotionally unavailable men. He has broken up with me three times this year and he never asked for forgiveness. he said hell give me more time but nothing ever changes. They say age shouldnt matter, but it does play a part. Okay it became a longer answer than I expected! Which actually does NOT suck because I was married for 24 years and I dont miss having to make sure someone eats supper, has clean clothes, etc. His excuse was that he had no time because of work. This may be too shallow for some but I have never receive a single petal from my boyfriend lol. But he has never considered making me happy for once. You wouldnt be HERE if you thought your gut was wrong. I can sorta relate to you, my boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 months, but our relationship took off really quickly, and he seemed like the perfect boyfriend for the first month, but after that, its seemed like Ive gradually lost his respect. Id been accepting it do anymore broke down in a town more then hour. 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